And she admits, in the year that has passed since he was killed by a landmine in Afghanistan, she has often thought about taking her own life.

"I've nearly taken a load of tablets; I've thought about ending it all," says this Shiregreen mother, whose heart has been ripped in two by a war several thousand miles away from her comforting four walls.

"But there's my youngest son Jamie to think about. And there's Christopher to fight on for."

Although just talking about life since Christopher is enough to cloud her eyes constantly with tears, she is a far stronger woman than the one I met nine months ago, just weeks after her beloved boy's funeral.

Back then, it was as if her grief had steamrollered everything she had held dear.

Her life, she believed, had been destroyed beyond all salvation on August 30, 2007, when a landmine blew up the RAF Landrover her boy was travelling in as he patrolled an airfield perimeter in southern Afghanistan.

She talked constantly about "joining Christopher" and spent entire days at his graveside.

But sitting before me now is a woman who seems to have inherited her son's courage.

In the middle of her pain and anguish, she's suddenly found that she can be a fighter, too.

Nicolette is embarrassed, and more than a little surprised, by my observation.

She doesn't feel stronger, she insists. But, she agrees: "His death has changed me... I've always been a quiet, shy person really.

"But both my boys need me. Jamie is just 14 and he misses his big brother terribly. And Christopher? Well, he isn't here to sort out his own battles, is he?"

This weekend, RAF veterans and cadets, Lady Mayoress Jane Bird, Sheffield Brightside MP David Blunkett and two colleagues from the 51 Squadron, gathered at the church where Christopher's funeral was held and at the cemetery where he was buried to pay their respects.

Nicolette stood proudly in their midst, wearing with utmost pride his two bravery medals on her chest – and a tattoo (her first and last, she says) of his regimental badge on her shoulder.

The event was at her suggestion. If it hadn't been for her, the memory of Senior Aircraftman Bridge may not have been upheld outside of RAF circles, here in his home city.

Deeply disappointed to discover that she and the families of other city men killed in the Afghanistan conflict had not been invited to Sheffield's Remembrance Sunday service, Nicolette had determined to make change.

And when she discovered that buying a simple bench for Shiregreen Cemetery in his memory would cost a staggering £900 because she needed to pay a huge chunk for public liability insurance – in case anyone was "injured" by the bench – she was incensed.

It didn't seem like the right way for a city to treat one of its young men, who had lost so much in the name of Queen and country, she decided.

Letters were fired off to former Home Secretary David Blunkett.

And The MP for Sheffield Brightside replied, pledging change.

Nicolette's boy will be among the names recalled on Remembrance Day this November – and the bench will go ahead without a fee, says Mr Blunkett.

Maybe, one day, her next dream, of a plaque in memory of servicemen lost in Afghanistan and Iraq, will be erected in Sheffield's Peace Gardens, too. Because 43-year-old Nicolette won't be giving up.

It's a similar story at the cemetery Nicolette has visited virtually every day since Christopher's funeral. In the early days she would sit there and cry for hours. Now it's a place that brings her peace. "One sunny day recently, Jamie and I went to the cemetery together. We both ended up lying on the grass either side of his headstone, quietly gazing up at the sky," she remembers.

The cemetery now has a different feel about it. Less gloomy and intimidating – it's tidier with bright flower beds.

Nicolette got so upset at the condition of the place, she joined the Friends of Shiregreen Cemetery and their lobby for improvements.

"We've got rid of the potholes in the paths and have planted bulbs and flowering shrubs," she says. "Even when I was just picking up the rubbish that gets strewn everywhere, I felt I was making it a nicer place for my son. I picked up after him when he was alive; why not now?"

She knows how much joining the RAF meant to her boy and how thrilled he was to be sent to Afghanistan. But nevertheless, she is angry over her son's wasted life.

Her rage is directed squarely at the Government. "I don't think they have learned from their mistakes. Servicemen are still being sent out on duty without the right protection," she insists.

"My son died in an open-topped Land Rover. When it hit a landmine, there was no protection for him.

"Armour-plated versions are available, but there aren't enough of them to go round. In my opinion, the Government don't want to spend the money on them."

Although a year has passed, an inquest into Christopher's death has not yet been held. Nicolette sees it as closure and afterwards she intends to turn her energy to the cause of other servicement still risking their lives in Afghanistan.

The fight for better equipped Forces is to be her next war. "Why should British forces have to cope with second-rate equipment – minimum everything?" she questions.

"I read a report the other day, written by servicemen who had run over a landmine. They knew very well that only their armoured truck had saved their lives.

"It makes me so angry. Landmines are claiming most of the lives lost in Afghanistan now – 42 British service people have died since we lost Christopher. Yet servicemen are still not being given the best protection.

"More boys like mine are going to die. More parents are going to have to go through what I've endured for the last year."



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