Did the chicken really cross the road to talk about dying matters?

For Gemma Sharp, a Junior Sister at St Luke’s Hospice, says that the traditional response – to get to the other side – has a hidden meaning.

“I hadn’t realised that the joke about the chicken crossing the road is actually about death,” she says.

“My friends thought it was just a silly joke, as I did too, but crossing the road is just another of the euphemisms we use for death.

“And it’s a good example of why you shouldn’t use terms and niceties when talking about death and dying because there is so much room to interpret things differently.

“It is really tempting to use words that are not going to feel scary or upsetting but you could actually cause more pain and stress if you used words that can be misinterpreted.”

It’s the language surrounding death that is the theme of this year’s national Dying Matters Awareness Week,

This central focus - The way we talk about Dying Matters – looks at the language that people use and the conversations they have around death and dying, specifically between healthcare professionals and patients, their carers and their families.

For St Luke’s, it is providing both staff and volunteers with a chance to explore the way that the subject is dealt with engaging with patients and families who have been touched by terminal illness.

Jo Hird is the St Luke’s Lead for Spiritual Care and explains that it is important to break down the barriers that can make the conversation even more difficult.

“In our team I would say that we are neutral people who still care and that sometimes, therefore, it is easier for people to say what they want to say,” she says.

“I might ask if people have any fears or concerns or anxieties – it’s very open and loose but people will start to talk about the fears they have around death.”

Staff Nurse Emma Matthews says the aim is never to make patients and families feel uncomfortable but to offer the highest level of support.

“We recognise that the conversations we are having are probably some of the most difficult and most uncomfortable and painful conversations but it is important to balance that with clarity,” she explains.

“As health care professionals and as nurses a big part of our role is making information clear and we try to be clear in everything we do and say, to make sure people are making informed choices and decision.”

At just 19 years old, Fabian Holding is one of the youngest St Luke’s volunteers, giving time every week to support patients at the St Luke’s Ecclesall Road South site.

He brings a younger generation’s perspective to the ways that people talk about death and mortality.

“I personally speak quite bluntly about death because it is something that is going to happen and it isn’t something that should be hidden or talked about secretively because it is an inevitable part of life and it is going to happen to you.

“Rather than talking about it in a roundabout way, it is better to have a good insight into what happens so there is less to imagine.”

Fellow volunteer and medical student Eleanor Leek agrees that euphemism only masks a difficult topic.

“My nan would say ‘when I’m pushing up the daisies’ and a lot of the times it’s terms like passed on or not here.

“I think talking about it through euphemisms makes it more shocking to people, makes it more abstract and makes it further away but talking about it frankly probably helps.”

Naureen Khan is the St Luke’s Community and Quality Engagement Officer and her work in the many different communities that make Sheffield highlights the way that different cultures approach the subject of death.

“I find that in the English language you have to be sensitive with our words and careful,” she says.

“But when I deal with, for example, Muslim families, their everyday language is around death and dying.

“When somebody dies we say a phrase that means you came from God and you return to God and there are words around that in Arabic language, in Urdu language and in Punjabi language that give solace to people.”

To find out more about Dying Matters Awareness Week, which runs from May 6 to 12, visit www.hospiceuk.org/our-campaigns/dying-matters/dying-matters-awareness-week

St Luke’s is also taking part in the Sheffield Life, Loss and Death Festival throughout May.

St Luke’s Lead for Learning and Development Connor Browne will present What is Palliative Care? – a talk to break down myths and learn about end of life care – at the St Luke’s Ecclesall Road South site on Friday May 10 at 10am. To confirm, attendance visit https://www.eventbrite.com/e/life-loss-death-festival-what-is-palliative-care-tickets-876667755857